I believe in GOOD People. I really do.

I also believe in MIRACLES, I really do.

Today, I have PROOF.

Princess sent me a text around 3pm to tell me that there was a LARGE envelope from the VA … maybe it was good news, at last.

I thought, NAH, they are just going to ask for more paperwork or something. After all, Monday, I received my 3rd letter stating that they were still in the review process (4 months later!)

It’s been a rough week … why, you ask?

1. It’s December.
2. Sonny Boy’s birthday was the 5th (happy 20th!)
3 Dad’s birthday was the 4th (happy 79th!)
4. Hubby is travelling and it’s only 1 week til the boat parade party
5. Princess turns 22 on the 8th
6. I had to pay $1100 towards my dad’s rent on Tuesday
7. My mom’s one year anniversary is the 7th.
8. My sister in law has been calling me saying “she misses me and loves me” … actually, she’s wanting to make sure I give dad her card and letter (I did, what kind of person do you think I am?). I’ve not called her back as I’m not the one she needs to be talking to…
9. Oh. Did I mention, it’s DECEMBER?

I’m broke. Seriously no extra money to be had. I hate that feeling. The birthdays, the boat parade party (that we have discussed doing just a few friends, like 2 couples instead of 10), Christmas and oh, don’t forget about the bills. It’s totally taking over my thought process.

So I get home from work. Wash dishes in the sink. Start a load of laundry. Sort the mail. Sweep the floor.

And finally. Sit down at the kitchen counter with the big envelope.

Rub my hands over it, smoothing the wrinkles out. Close my eyes and think, PLEASE let this be a simple thing.

See, I have nothing left to give. I realize that I am stressed and drained …. emotionally and financially. Nothing is left. It’s a horrible thing to admit. I am an emotional wreck and well, it won’t take much to just send me over the edge. Screw the “financial cliff” … I’m more worried about my own emotional cliff.

Finally, take a deep breath and open the envelope. Pull the stack of papers out, wrong side up.

Turn them over.

And just break down in to tears. Of relief.

PURE RELIEF.  Thank you God.

The first check for $1732 will post on the 1st of January. Which means I do not have to pay anything more towards his rent and can now focus on paying down his medical bills from all the hospital visits since he’s been here.

What a HUGE relief.

Yes, I do believe in miracles and good people. Good people as in Myrna at the facility who said not to worry, it will go in (I kept thinking negative things because how could my parents go all these years without ANY kind of benefits from the VA? My mom always said they didn’t qualify … she just didn’t stick with it and keep following through) … people like Dr. A. who insist that he needs to be in a facility like this as he can’t take care of himself and I, as his daughter, should not have to worry about him while at work. People like my boss, who has offered to front the money til VA kicked in (seriously, Thomas, you make me cry when you offer such kindness like that). People like my Hubby, who even though he didn’t agree with “us” having to support my father because of his lack of planning in the earlier years (and why can’t your brother and sister contribute something) … he still did things totally unexpected to show support. Seriously, I have a lot of good people surrounding me.

I could consider it a downside in that they are only retro activating his needs to September but that’s not a problem. At this point, I’m couldn’t care less if they paid me back the $8,000 I’ve paid so far (well, that’s sort of a lie) because I am so relieved that come January 1st, I don’t have to sign over my whole paycheck to the facility! Just a note: they will reimburse me, we just have to assign myself as his fiduciary agent … then the funds will be deposit.

Huge relief. HUGE.

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1 thought on “Believing

  1. Thanks for sharing that, Jan – it really made me smile. It's almost as though I could feel the relief myself.


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